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Adult Adoptees

Adult Adoptees all have different stories & experiences, are typically in different phases of the journey, but often share similar struggles with core issues such as:

  • Identity & Sense of Self

  • Intimacy & Relationships

  • Ambiguous Loss

  • Disenfranchised Grief

  • Abandonment & Rejection 

  • Family Loyalty Binds

  • Birthday Ambivalence

  • Decision Making Difficulties

  • Disconnectedness 


Transracial & International Adoptees have additionally complex issues to face like culture loss and racial identity confusion. 

Adoptees from Foster Care have to cope with possible added issues like multiple breaks in attachment and trauma from neglect or abuse.

Open Adoption Adoptees (those with some degree of access to Birth Families) must sometimes navigate very tricky family dynamics, similar to the complexity of family entanglements faced by Relative Kin Adoptees.

Closed Adoption Adoptees (those with closed records and no access to Birth Families or information) face great challenges in overcoming the shame of secrecy, piecing together their heritage and may have difficult decisions to make about search & reunion. These issues can extend to Second Generation Adoptees, too, (the children of Adoptees) also cut off from their roots.

Adoptees in Pre & Post Reunion can become completely overwhelmed by unexpected feelings that may surface personally or in their bio relative(s) and are subject to "secondary rejection" (rejection by a Birth Parent in reunion) which can be devastating. Also, an understanding of the possibility or presence of Genetic Sexual Attaction (GSA) is vital to combat potential shame. 


Adoptees with Childhood Trauma as well as a myriad of other factors can continue to complicate the process, such as:

  • Domestic Violence

  • Sexual Abuse

  • Mental Illness

  • Physical Illness

  • Religious Fanaticism

  • Foster Care of other children 

  • Adoptive Siblings 

  • Single Adoptive Parent

  • LGBTQ Adoptive Parents

  • Death of Adoptive Parent (or Sibling)

  • Divorce of Adoptive Parents

No Adoptee has a simple story, and even in the very best of circumstances, it's complicated and can be extremely difficult to process.  Amy has been an Adoptee for 50+ years now, and has worked for over a decade with Adult Adoptees individually and in groups. Time and time again, though the stories be vastly different, we hear similar threads of complexity, confusion, and pain. Adoption Savvy is committed to doing everything we can to help address these issues and to promote hope, healing, and success for Adult Adoptees!

Get Help & Get Savvy!

If you are in the Seattle-Tacoma or Yakima Valley areas,

available in-person services are listed below.

Just click on the colored buttons above each category for more info. 

If you live  outside Washington state,

some services may still be available to you by phone or online.

Please contact us for more details. 

Individual Counseling & Online Coaching

Workshops, Retreats, & Public Speaking

Adult Adoptee Groups

Adoption Reunion Preparation & Facilitation

Savvy Resources for Adult Adoptees 
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